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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Start of Something New

I'm growing new wings.


I've been molting for months, shedding little bits of me, sloughing them off in the rain, leaving markers scattered behind everywhere I travel.  My skin feels bright pink and a little raw, sensitive to the crystalline winds that carry sea salt up and over the bluffs.  This is, after all, the very nature of regeneration.  And what is this time but intense regeneration; the death of the damaged and dangerous [cells], the birth of the new, fresh, hopeful.

Cellular renewal.  
Two words I believe in as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow.


I'm a strong believer in chapters of life.  We live a period of time in one place, be it mentally or physically, with certain trials that develop our character, new actors that enter at a pivotal scene, a climax that engulfs us and then,
the chapter closes with a few choice words.  
Sometimes we feel it immediately, sometimes it takes the wisdom of hindsight, but either way what once was has passed.  And when we flip that page, blotting out the translucence of yesterday, a clean space and a boldly written title mark the start of something new.  The story has yet to be written, and although the first few sentences illuminate the way, the path is unknown and therefore can be full of possibilities.

Today, I can't help but feel this chapter winding down.  I'm tempted to skim ahead and see what lies next, to speed read (as I do far too often in my own excitement), but life doesn't exactly work that way.  The side effects from this last round are still heavy in my body, but I'm eagerly fingering that dogeared corner, ready to smooth that page flat and see what happens next.  I think Thursday might be the start.  I know how silly that sounds, pinpointing a day still in the future to mark the passage of time, but I think that's the date.  I'm taking a short trip to one of the places on this earth I love best, meeting up with a friend who is quickly becoming entwined in my soul and painting the town bright cherry red.  HUGELY celebrating the end and the beginning.  My own alpha and omega.  I'm ready to pack my bags now.

But before then, I have more to tell you, more to show you, more to GIVE you (ooooohh... sneaky sneak!) and a nap to take.
because there is so much to celebrate,
- Umber

* * * * *

Side Note #1
Medical Update:  I AM done with Chemotherapy - shazzam - and almost ready to move onto the next phase of post-cancer-treatment.  I've several weeks off (through to the new year) and then I'll begin radiation therapy, everyday for six weeks.  And then, God willing, I'll talk about that one time I had cancer and kicked it's mutated little ass.

Side Note #2
Yes.  The bird to whom these wings belong showed up in our dining room under the proud and boastful meow of Thai - NOT something I was happy to see.  However still something that made my little heart swell with pride for my city-kitty, who at the age of 10 is finding and exercising his age-old instincts in this big back yard of ours.  I'd rather it be the gophers, but I love seeing him tap into his heritage of hunting.

Side Note #3
Our pup loves brussel sprouts.  Or more specifically the brussel sprout stalk we stripped and cleaned for him as the new most favorite toy.  Losing his ever-loving mind.  He gallops like a horse with a bright green banner in his mouth, snorting and woofing in those high-pitched puppy barks.  He's my little snapping turtle with ten foot long legs who eats cruciferous vegetables.  Oh love!


MrsLittleJeans said...

Good to see you Kelly...I am always looking forward to your forward looking thoughts...xoxo (too many forwards in that sentence)

Mum said...

You are my little warrior who has been kickin ass and leaving your mark since you first roared into this life.

Now you are all grown up, scattering courage and spunk and wisdom everywhere you go.

I am so proud of you. You give me strength and hope.

I love you.

Anonymous said...


...just like you

love and light

kat said...

I love your mum! And she is right you are a warrior and an inspiration. Thanks for all your words and inspiration.

resolute twig said...

cheers to renewal and new beginnings.
You spread courage wherever you go.

mme. bookling said...

You are always on my mind. Glad you'll be spending time in the care of inspiring women...I mean, if I can't be there...;)

kerin rose said... wise woman you...
your mum, she truly is a lucky one, and must be pretty magical herself to have brought such a soul as yourself into this world Kelly....

you made it...phase1 ...DONE.....


Sunny Rising Leather said...

I had chills reading this whole entry.... you are so amazing.

I am in awe.


Ahem :)

Let's dig deep into those beautiful rolling hills, resting at will and beaching up a storm :)


Devon said...


So happy this chapter has ended and hope you get some well-deserved rest and recuperation in the following weeks.

Snailentina said...

Beautiful words, I think we are what we become at times like these, and you are grace! Thank you for being here to spread the hard-earned wisdom with us.

The Noisy Plume: said...

I say, just shut the damn book already.
Love you like mad.

The Noisy Plume: said...

..well....don't really shut the know what I mean...

The Noisy Plume: said...

...oh bother.

The Noisy Plume: said...

I love you.

BlueButtonwood said...

Look at that... each singular feather... breathtaking, heartbreakingly beautiful...even down to the sweet, soft, little downy feathers at the top. It's enough to make your heart skip a beat. Life is truly a miracle! (now saying a prayer for the poor little departed birdy :)).

And you...I'm sending thoughts of strength and love as you restore and get ready for the next phase of your journey. (I say this as I picture you in a bright yellow jumpsuit going Kill Bill style on the C. Somehow I imagine you could play this part well. Hehe :)). Take care and happy travels this week!

UmberDove said...

I completely fantasize about my alter ego being a hybrid between "The Bride" (of Kill Bill) and Sydney Bristow of Alias.

Maybe that's the other book sitting side by side on the shelf.