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Monday, March 12, 2012

Sketchbook Writings

~ From my sketchbook writings and images, Monday March 12th ~
This is a true story about today:
It's been a day.  Nothing noteworthy, nothing outstanding, nothing traumatic other than the aftershocks of a dream which remains unremembered but deeply felt all the same.  I've been off.  My skin crawling with anxiety, breath sticky in my lungs.  
Outside the wind howled like the apocalypse; rain directly parallel to the river, bamboo brushing the ground in prostrate repentance, birch grunting like sea sick women.
And me.  I stood outside in the mud, shivering in nothing but an old white tank and bare feet, willing the weather to make me feel alive.
I looked up.  "Is this all there is?"
I watched leaves fly sideways.  "Show me there's more."
Curls dripped into my eyes and rain slapped my neck.  "Give me something.  Let me know."

And then, honest truth on my life, in that gale force that would send the stoutest beast cowering, in the flood that threatened the very integrity of the earth, a hummingbird flew to me.  Winter colors of muted olive and seaweed.  Flying from the north, she flew to me, lighted on the twisted cherry, paused for only half a second and was gone.
And I laughed at this mother of ours, the one who keeps our hearts whole and our creatures fed.  Because even in my small tantrum, I was heard.


pencilfox said...

and this: another reason i love you.
i often go outside wearing "less-than"....willing the weather to make ME feel alive. and: she does.
the birds flit and fly and chatter around me.
the rabbit hops up close to the wire of his cage in order to greet me.
i don't often feel the cold in my bones 'til i've gone back inside the warm house.


prairiegirl said...

Thank you for letting me see the beauty in tantrums. I intend to have more of them! What a lovely post.

Unknown said...

Such a beautiful watercolor sketch. Thank you for sharing it.


MrsLittleJeans said...

I am always amazed at being heard and yet it happens over and over, and it is always refreshing even when I still don't know what and why and where to...xx

dragon said...

and why shouldn't the hummer brave the storm to visit the brave Dove in need?

Brit said...

thank you for sharing the rumblings of your psyche. i find them inspiring. :)

Rubee said...

so cool!!!!

The Great Spirit takes many forms and you were blessed mightily.

(Did your hair turn white??)


UmberDove said...

And this is why I love this space so much: I am never alone. You ladies, such members of tribe, always hear the true words.

XOX and I mean it!

Beth said...

I love how the earth always reaches out to us, if we just are open to it- stormy days and all. thanks for sharing how you captured this in your sketchbook. I believe that hummingbirds are one of my most favorite creatures among us.

MJ said...

Good god this is beautiful...extraordinary and magical things are everywhere aren't they... reminds me of a quote...

"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."-Eden Philpotts


artist in the arctic said...

God woman, You are some kind of wonderful. Thank you for your honest sharing and reminding me that we are always heard and magic is around each and every corner. xo

Nancy*McKay said...

no hunters,
no panties...

humdinger girl!!!


UmberDove said...

BAH! I like to keep it spicy... ;)

Janet said...

Breath taking! I'll wager each hummingbird you see from now on will remind you that you are never alone.

Sandra Dunn said...

Thank you for sharing something so beautiful and intimate - your journal... a page with all your heart on it,,,