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Friday, January 23, 2009

The Friday Confessional

Confession Number 38:  I despise anything goopy, sticky, messy touching my face.  Face paint? Forget about it!  Chocolate, BBQ sauce, foamed milk, all these things I love, but I eat like a horse (lips curled carefully back, small bites with my teeth to ensure that every last morsel makes it all the way into my mouth).  But the real confession?  This is the reason I will lather love and affection on a baby from afar rather than cuddling - sticky baby hands on my face is a deal breaker.

Confession Number 92:  I always lick the spoon.  I have what some would call an unhealthy lack-of-fear of raw eggs (I know, I know) and love me some cookie dough.

Your turn, give me those confessions!


AvenueFog said...

Confession No. 8: When I'm home alone I like to eat all the gross food I'd never eat in front of anyone else. My favorite is Easy Cheese on Vegetable Thins (gross, yes, I know!)

Confession No. 2: I do most of my housework naked. I start by scrubbing the shower while I'm in it and next thing I know I've got the vacuum out.

TMI? For sure! But you asked!

p.s. Sticky baby fingers = ick - and I had a baby! She was always clean, though, and I never allowed her to walk around with candy (or eat it!) and goop all over. Ack!

UmberDove said...

AAHHhahahahah! That's exactly what I'm looking for! Love it. No 2 is totally Secret Single Behavior!

The Noisy Plume: said...

You know we are in the same boat when it comes to eggs.

Number 2 is S.S.B.????????
I had better reform.

Desiree Fawn said...

I've spotted your blog through the Plume's, hello ^_^

My confessions?

Well, I agree with the egg thing... I definitely ate raw muffin batter just this morning. Just a lick!

I'm also big on the doing housework naked & I'm not single at all -- mostly very pregnant & clothing is restricting at best, hah.

Hmm, I really, really hate washing cutlery & it's always the last thing I do. We often have no cutlery in the drawer & I feel like a bad lady of the house.

Another rather lovely confession? I'm 40 weeks pregnant today & I love being a homebody. It's been nice staying home & will be fabulous cuddling with my little one when she arrives.

Happy sighs!

UmberDove said...

Why Hello back to you Miss Fawn, and seriously, that is one congratulations-worthy confession (40 weeks and smiling)!

My BC hates washing the silverware more than almost anything (actually it may be a toss up between the forks and my Sigg bottle) else in the kitchen. He will be a total love and clean the dishes (complete with his boy scout "I did good" smile) and there will be a secret stash of dirty silver tucked into a corner of the sink.

jordan said...

i definitely clean the shower naked for the same reason as AvenueFog...i have to get in it to rinse it properly so it only makes sense!! i fear that if i lived in a warm climate i'd be nude all the time. it's the best feeling on earth to be comfy in your skin and nothing else! happy friday

thewindhover said...

Oh I knew it! You're all a bunch of secret nudists!

Confessions... well. I talk to myself a rather lot, and live out many dreams and personalities when I go out walking.

I love eating vegemite (which almost all non-Australians I know despise) but my favourite way to have it is with fresh tomato on toast.

I relish babies, and all their gooiness - which makes it very dangerous for me in public, playgrounds at 11am etc - baby snatching is a worry.

When I'm painting or printing I like to get paint all over myself on purpose - especially my hands and legs, I like feeling it dry and then getting in the shower and watching all the colours run to the drain.

I get easily addicted to fantastical computer games such as Warcraft and Heroes of Might and Magic... I like building armies of mythical creatures and finding hidden forests etc... Alright going to stop confessing now!

Zorah said...

I love the smell of my dog's feet. A friend described them as smelling like a musty frito. I think the smell does to me what the smell of a baby does to other women.

I am totally with you about the sticky babies and licking the spoon too.

jordan said...

i LOVE dog foot smell too!!!! my friend calls them 'popcorn toes' because she thinks they smell like popcorn...i kind of agree that they do! and i also love babies...puppies and babies. i think i'm more at risk of becoming a puppy snatcher than a baby snatcher though. and emily you should talk to my husband. he loves the warcraft. it's ridiculous. he recently brought his computer tower to the livingroom and he plays WOW on our 52 inch tv. crazy.

UmberDove said...


I barely kept in my granola when I read your comment Zorah! That is the funniest thing I've read all day (and now, secretly, I will find a dog to sniff the toes of today...)

Jordan - I'm totally a danger in the world of puppy snatching too. I wanted to seduce this adorable great dane puppy away with doggie treats but a dane is hard to hide in your coat!

BC said...

Man, I feel like I should contribute. Hmmm, what juicy secret to divulge?

-Randomness: I smell people. There I said it. When I am walking around in public and someone walks by, I am compelled to breathe in their passing scent. Good, bad, rank, sweet, doesn't matter. I think I just enjoy the minor connection. Everyone has a scent. Have no fear though, should we meet in person I won't attack. ;)

-Silverware: Hate washing silverware. It's true, I often leave it in the sink. Although I have come to terms with this bit of knowledge and now try to begin my dishwashing sessions by doing all the silver first.

-Video game addicts unite! I still have my original NES that was a Christmas gift from '86. I am such an addict with them that I will not play Warcraft though. I fear for my marriage should I get sucked into that game.

Hmm, I think that is good enough. I can't give all the good stuff away!

jordan said...

yeah steve has a problem with getting addicted too. Lucky for him (and me) he has a lot of time off during the day when i'm not around so he can get his fix in without me wanting to throw something at the TV. which is a good thing. So maybe you just need to become a pilot with the sweetest work schedule on the planet and then you could play warcraft to your heart's content! sounds tempting, i know.

umber - how bout i had the CUTEST chocolate lab puppy in this morning and really wanted to steal her...she was adorable. i find that i'm most in love with the adolescent stage dogs though; they're long and lanky and still puppies but they're in that awkward body stage that reminds me of being 12...i love it. dogs rule. (i love cats too, but dogs are my true love)e

Aspen Wear said...

Well, since Zorah and Jordan mentioned it, then I too can admit to loving the scent of my dog's feet (his ears too). He has been gone for almost a year and a half now and I miss everything about his 90+ pound, furry, silly, loving self. I believe the author Elizabeth Berg described it as a "salty earth" scent. I like that.

Confession #32 I sit and read at Borders a lot, you know like it's a library.

Mum said...

Wow true confessions!!! Hmm, should I??

#1 Eating ANY raw food product that is sweet and buttery. (dang..)

#2 Missing the days of my youth spent hanging out with best gal pals, naked in the hot Sacramento sun along the American River.

#3 Loving any baby, sticky or not, but, preferably, freshly bathed.

#4 Breathing deeply the warm scent of my kitty girls and (This is NEW)
The smell of my new little puppy! I never thought I could love a tiny dog so much.

Those are the only ones fit to print in a public forum.

OH! BTW, Miss Umber. Once again you've married your father--the silverware thing. What is that about?? Does he also leave the dirty dishwater in the dishpan along with the soiled sponge?

jordan said...

don't we all end up marrying our fathers to some degree?! it always surprises and amuses me how similar my husband and my daddy are. kind of a crazy phenomenon that one.

UmberDove said...

The day BC had to stop the car, walk back up the drive and check to see if the door was really, truly, in fact locked was the day I realized "Holy Crap. That whole 'marry your father thing' IS unavoidable!"

BC said...

I've got nothing to add here.

Melissa said...

#1. If I don't feel like doing dishes... I soak them. Spot not coming off? Soak it. John hates it.

#2. Love LOVE fantasy movies (or cartoons). Oh yeah... the smaller the budget, the better! All time favorites are Krull and The Last Unicorn (I hum at least 1 tune from this movie once a week or more).

#3. I don't close cabinets/drawers.

#4. At any given time I will have drinking water (bottle or glass) in at least 3 places around the house.

And yes I do lick the spoon. Especially when making brownies. Mmmm!

UmberDove said...

This has been so amazing, I've ended up either snorting coffee out my nose or choking on a pita chip every time I've checked these comments! I love it!

So, I'm thinking this whole "friday confessional" will need to become a bit of a staple - I need my weekly coffee snorting fix!

BC said...

Well if this is going to be a weekly thing I am going to have to start writing down all the weird stuff I do. Hmmm, perhaps I should just consider this a useful self-analysis and fodder for my future therapy sessions.

Melissa said...

Hm,I was going to write another that I just thought of, but if you're doing a weekly...

Pen and paper out, ready to jot down confessions.

Iscah Mara said...

nudity is more a lifestyle than a confession for me.

#5 - i find respite and reverie at the altar of harry potter.

#28 - red wine before noon.

#11 - i blame god for my luscious red fading to dishwater brown (not to mention the gray) when he knows damn well it's essential to my being.

UmberDove said...

"nudity is more a lifestyle than a confession for me."