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Friday, August 20, 2010

A bit of This, a bit of That and the Medical Update

:: THIS ::
True confession: it's 10:28 and I just finished eating breakfast.  Some nights I stay up too late and dragging yourself out of bed before 8:00 am just isn't going to happen.  But luckily I was able to greet the day with some of these:

And a little of this:

Today's second confession:  This is how I eat my toast every morning.  I've been artfully perfecting my Honey Whole Wheat Bread recipe for the last few years and simply can't bare to buy that stuff from the grocery store.  And, as you may well guess, the BEST way to enjoy a slice of fresh baked bread is with an ungodly quantity of butter.  SO as a precautionary move against the inevitable thigh expansion that would happen if I daily smothered my toast in butter, I divide my toast into quadrants.  I get one butter quadrant which can be loaded up as thick as you please, and the other three are divvied between the jam and nut butter selections in the fridge.  It's a little of the best of all worlds.

:: THAT ::

How 'bout a little stitchery stitching sneak peak?  I've been working away in the textile studio and am almost ready to reopen shop...  I'm so very excited about these newest pieces.  They feel ever more like me, like my paintings, clean and crisp and 100% full of California Loving.  Every piece has been inspired by the flora, fauna and the bliss in my heart I experience on my evening country runs.



In completely unrelated news, I'd like to give you the update on the medical front.  I'm so sorry this update has been SO long coming but between doctors on vacation, insurance red tape, and some big decisions BC and I needed to make, everything kept getting pushed back by the week.  I finally was able to see my oncology doctor and schedule out the next few months of treatments.  The short story is, I'll be starting chemotherapy next Friday, August 27th (with targeted radiation therapy afterwards).  I've already begun some pre-treatment injections (Ladies of that "Certain Age," I'm joining the club with my medically induced temporary menopause!  Please send ALL the good vibes you can to BC while he loves me through hot flashes and all that other fun stuff!).
The chemo schedule I'll be on will last a little over four months, with injections every other week.  But it's just four months.  I keep telling myself, just four months.  Such a short period of time.  Yesterday (truthfully, right this second as well) after my appointment I was really struggling with the reality of this, and a hot panic kept creeping up the back of my throat and blinding the corners of my vision.  But it's just four months.  And I KNOW I'll be ok.  I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT.  But I feel deep in my gut that with all the information I've gathered, this is the best decision I can make to help my body.  So I'll ride out this next week and see what we shall see.
Sheesh.  There were a lots of buts in that last paragraph.  I'm trying.  I'm breathing.  Just please remind me it's going to be ok.  Because I'm a little bit scared.

Oh yeah.

One last thing.

gun show

It's about to get hard core.


Joyful said...

It is natural to be scared. You will be okay. We are sending you lots of love and hugs and prayers. It is just 4 months. It will fly by and you will be bathed in love.